winked out

-thirteen-
we thought we were so bitchin’
up all night
blowing pot smoke into toilet paper rolls
so dad didn’t smell it
goldschlager
metallica
nin
stuck somewhere
between the kids we never were
and the adults we never wanted to be
-fold the paper fifteen times
pick a color
pick a number
does he love me, does he love me not?
truth or dare
have you ever-

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sneaking out at midnight
a 2b drumstick in the broken window
so we can get back in
checking for unlocked car doors
just to use the lighter
ducking behind bushes
when headlights broke the darkness
trying not to drop
that hot ass bottle of shiraz
that we lifted from the liquor cabinet
digging out cork with a rusty pocket-knife
(i still have that knife)

‍
-thirteen-
we scaled that ladder
to the top of school
such a hopeless group
of misfits
puffing on marlboro reds
passing the wine
making up poems
under early august stars
wishing we were somewhere else
terrified of starting high school
terrified of becoming our parents
terrified of ending up like the crazy friends
that we’d lost too soon

‍
-thirteen-
the neon baptist church cross
judged us from down the block
shining like a beacon
in the dark
save yourselves
we crossed our chests
we muttered the trinity
we climbed back down to earth
and then we scattered to the wind
(i wonder if the bottle and butts are still up there)

‍
i saw you in gym
and you saw me in the hall
she made band
and he went out for football
and none of us ever talked again
-thirteen-

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